Thoughts from 3 am

I've been up since 3:00 am. And, I didn't really sleep much before then. I predicted this, though. Yesterday was a good day and I always seem to pay the price for good days. In fact, that is my new mantra - I pay every day. For what, I don't really know, but I always seem to be paying for something. Whether in this life or a past one, I must have accumulated a tremendous karmic debt that I have to work off...

Spent the morning having strong words with my legs as they are already gleefully swelling. I am beginning to think they are enjoying this. Then, sent the round of emails to school personnel to announce my absence until at least Thursday. Told my principal to call my doctor and try to get some answers about my future for the remainder of the year. Emailed a copy of the final exam for my seniors and put my sophomores on alert as to the curriculum for the remaining days. Had many good raw foods and caffeine (I am giving it honorary raw status). Did some online work. Stuff....

Things I noticed while going about my morning:

1. Iron Chef is fun early in the morning. Nothing better at 3:00 am than surrealistic culinaria.

2. I am fat and don't like it. I have been having a typical female reaction to my figure. Big belly, unpleasingly plump thighs, etc. My clothes don't fit, even my shoes. I am a big piggie gal and that bites. The worst part is that neither diet nor exercise would make any difference.

3. I don't want my principal to call me at home. He does this occasionally. Not that he EVER says anything bad, actually he usually calls to see if I need anything, but I can't leap the mental hurdle of his adminstrative status. No one likes having their boss call them at home.

4. I don't want to take a shower. I've put it off for a long time, because I just hate them right now. Firstly, my bathroom is the room most in need of remodeling. Small, unventilated, the shower functioning with about 20% capacity. It is just neither relaxing nor pleasant. Secondly, I don't like showering with my current plumpness. It is just ooky. I can't bend over well, I HATE the sight of myself in my birthday suit, hot water stings my legs...

5. My hair is falling out. For real, I think. I don't think I'm going bald, but the rate at which I am losing hair has increased. I notice far more adhering to my brush, on the bottom of the bathtub...I can run my fingers through my hair and come away with multiple strands every time.

6. I like watermelon. I had forgotten how much I delight in watermelon. I had Peapod deliver me some seedless watermelon and have been relishing every cold, juicy, refreshing bite.

7. I need new clothes. This means shopping and I am not looking forward to that experience.

8. There is something criminal about the weather still not breaking 70 degrees and we are one day away from June. Some heat and sunshine would do everyone around here a world of good, but we are not so blessed. I remember a summer several years back where I was burning Duraflame logs consistently through August. I hope we do not see a repeat of that this year.

9. I need some new books. Must do some Amazoning today and see what some of my favorite "fun" authors have out there. Terry Pratchett, Jonathan Gash, Anne Perry...I need some light reading to while away my hours.

10. My big tv was the smartest purchase of my life. It has made life so much more tolerable. Watching tv can be a drag, but watching movies as you would experience them in the theater is a blast. A little treat each day...

I go now to grab some liquid caffeine, pop my Prozac and prepare for the day. A long one, but one out of the house. Compression stockings, take me awayyyyyyy......