The Vegetarian Cavewoman

Of late, I have been working towards a more Paleolithic diet, peppered with GI and LC diet theory. I firmly believe that there is not nutritional plan out there that is appropriate for everyone, exactly as written. One must custom-craft a plan to fit individual needs and physiological responses. You choose the plan that BEST fits your goals and body's abilities and tinker from there.

I have been vegetarian since the age of 2. Never have wavered a day. A choice that profound must have come directly from the body itself. Something inside of me just doesn't want meat. A life-long vegetarian diet did not shield me from health woes, though. Rather, it likely promoted the blood-sugar issues I manifested in my 30's. Although I ate only whole grains, beans, veggies and fruits, my daily carbohydrate intake was staggering. And, most of the dietary choices were high glycemic index and high glycemic load. I turned to lowcarbing to alleviate the symptoms (chasing people around with axes is not considered socially acceptable) and it worked like a charm. Now, though, I want to see if I can get to a more middle-of-the-road approach.

I love veggies. Love them. Will gladly snack on raw zucchini, cauliflower or turnips all day. I can live without wheat, corn, potatoes, winter squash, etc.; however, my eggplant, broccoli, spinach - gimme, gimme, gimme...I love veggies as many love chocolate. And I missed them terribly when I went lowcarb. For when I do anything, I do it to the extreme. For me, low carb almost meant no carb. And I can do that. I know how. Most people don't have the ability to truly analyze and evaluate foods and wouldn't take the time anyway. I researched, experimented, planned, prepared and purged carbohydrates from my daily diet. My mental state was significantly improved as was my ability to concentrate. I no longer had the shakes if I didn't eat every 30 minutes. But, my way of eating was not the WOE I wanted for the remainder of my years. It was fantastic to cleanse and reboot my system, but it is now time to find a compromise.

As a scientist, I understand cleaerly the implications and consequences of evolution. Species arise under a set of conditions and demonstrate adaptations to fit those conditions. When conditions change, natural selection determines which individuals will survive to reproduce and which will not. The population, then, begins to change. It is not a fast process and does not necessarily produce drastic change all at once. This is the argument behind the Paleolithic diet. The human species evolved, Paleos argue, eating a diet significantly skewed towards animal products (flesh, muscle and offal), with copious supplementation of vegetable materials. Further, if it were not consumable in raw form, it was not likely eaten - there were no Viking ranges on the African savannah. So certain materials such as legumes and grains, which contain compounds toxic or undigestible in raw form, would not be consumed on a regular basis. Dairy - no. Dairy requires livestock. Very few feral females will allow a smelly cave family to hook up a milking apparatus for the day's cereal soaking.

So, the Paleo diet promotes meats, most vegetables, oils, nuts and seeds, etc. Grains, beans, soy, dairy, vinegars, etc. are not allowed. Ok. Makes sense. A few problems, however. First, many items on the Paleo approved list are not low-carbohydrate. Most are, but a pure Paleo diet includes more daily carbohydrates than my puny body could stand. Also the glycemic index of some of these is too high for my needs. Lastly, I need protein. Since meat and eggs are out, that leaves nuts and seeds. That is too limiting. I would turn into a squirrel from the amount of nuts I would have to consume.

So, to accommodate my personal situation, I am having to tailor diet based around general Paleolithic principles, but taking into consideration the glycemic index/glycemic load effect, low-carb dieting and vegetarianism. Glad I like to experiment! So, I am now working towards adding larger and larger quantities of low GI/GL foods to my day. Abundant raw/crisp-cooked vegetables that are low on the GI and GL scales. Nuts and seeds. A very small amount of low GI fruits (always combined with protein). Soy. I worship it in all forms but natto (which is as nasty as toxic waste in my opinion). This is my main source of protein and, fortunately, it is a complete protein. I gave up dairy. Bye bye cheese and yogurt! Luckily, there are analogs available that are quite palatable.

Further, current research has been highlighting the nutritional benefits of coconut oil. Coconut is perfectly Paleo, low-carb, low-GI/GL and vegetarian. So, into my diet has been going more coconut products. I am cooking almost exclusively with coconut oil, use coconut milk in recipes where milk or cream is indicated (and cooking more recipes that call originally for coconut milk), unsweetened shredded coconut, coconut spread (like peanut butter, but made with coconut). Something I never really ate before and now find that I enjoy a great deal.

So, I've gone from high-carb/low-fat vegetarian to low-carb/high-fat to Paleo vegetarian pu-pu platter. Well, one thing you can say about life is that it keeps you on your toes...

Much Education Have I

I have a B.S. in Zoology and Physiology, a M.S. in Zoology and a M.Ed. in Curriculum and Development. On top of that, I have many credit hours in both science and education fields. One would assume such a large-lobed individual would have shelf after shelf filled with tomes of profound literary value, stacks of the most critically-applauded cinematic masterpieces, multitudes of classical cd's. Well, when you assume...

I watch, read and listen to crap. And I love it. If a movie does not feature an alien abduction or a blood-drenched gun battle, I'm not likely to watch it. I must alter that - I also thoroughly enjoy frivolous comedy and animated films from Pixar. Science fiction, action adventure, comedic fluff and computer-generated characters populate my extensive DVD collection. Chick flicks need not apply. The words thought-provoking or heart-warming are synonomous with boring. I want to watch a movie that "entertains" me, not make me think. I do that all day at work. I don't want to cry - life gives you sufficient opportunities for that anyway. I want to go off and have an adventure.

Same for reading. I read mysteries, science fiction, fantasy and cookbooks. I have spent much of my life in an academic environment, whiling away the hours with dense volumes of both fiction and nonfiction. That's quite enough, thank you. When I find time to prop my feet on the couch, I want to go a world of imagination. I really don't want to read a story about this world. This world, and many of its occupants, are just not the stuff of enjoyable reading. And I read for enjoyment. Purely and simply. Variations from this course are only for acquiring knowledge needed at the moment. A project, a quest, a challenge. Then, back to popular drivel.

I don't listen to classical music except at Christmas. The closest I get is Broadway showtunes and I do dearly love them. I have the voice of a pig with lifelong smoking habit, but that doesn't stop me from belting out selections from Phantom, A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum or Les Mis. But true, long-hair classical - sorry, no. Actually, my musical tastes are as diverse as the food court at the mall. Old rock and roll, very old country, zydeco, 80's schlock, new age, world music, exotica and lounge music...the only thing I can't really go is dance music or bubble-gum pop. Pink Floyd, U2, Warren Zevon, Patsy Cline, Peter Gabriel, Barenaked Ladies, Cesaria Evora, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Annie Lennox, Blues Traveler, Yma Sumac, Jethro Tull...my ears are not tuned to one station on the musical dial. My cd carousel never has more than one cd of a single genre loaded at any time. That is not by intent, that is the theme of my musical holdings. I am somewhat musically ADD.

Television? Same story. I pay a king's ransom for digital high-definition cable television. I get every channel known to man. I watch about 10. 99% of my TV time is spent viewing either the Food Channel or the SciFi Channel. I pry myself away from these to catch Queer Eye for the Straight Guy on Bravo and movies on the movie stations. My 46" widescreen HDTV is perfect to watch the Discover Channel high-def broadcasts and I think I've caught one. The airwaves provide much access to quite high-brow programming on the channels I receive. Many important news programs, science/technology broadcasts, literary recreations, etc. Ummm...no. I catch comedies on BBC (at least the ones I haven't already seen 1347 times), but that is as close to high-brow as I lean.

Much education have I. Much taste have I not.

Crows

My favorite tarot deck - Crow's Magick 

As you can see, I love crows. They are, without doubt, my favorite bird. Most people would find this odd. Crows are not beautiful. Their plumage is dull, varying from deep gray to undertaker black. Their song is non-existent. They have a call, but no one would describe it as pleasing. They are not sweet, they do not frolic merrily at your feeder, they are not pictured with springtime flowers on greeting cards.

But I love them completely. Why?

1. Crows are survivors. They succeed anywhere, under any conditions. They do whatever it takes to make it and will be the last one standing when disaster strikes. It doesn't matter what it takes - picking through trash, cleaning a carcass on the road, fighting a hawk twice their size - the crow will win out.

2. Crows are determined. They get what they want. Again, they do what it takes to attain their goals and obtain their wants.

3. Crows have no fear. They look upon everything in the world as normal and common. There is nothing to fear in the mundane.

4. Crows delight in solitude and companionship. Some birds must be solitary, others must be paired, many must exist in groups. Crows move into and out of any of these situations with ease. They are as content with themselves as they are with a mate or with a crowd (splendidly termed a "murder").

5. Crows get along well with most everyone. Crows are often found in very mixed groups of birds. They move among them with obvious ease, but without ever losing their unique identity.

6. Crows are smart. They problem-solve, they evaluate situations, they make choices based on analysis.

7. Crows have personality. Crows do not blend into the background. They do not morph into a clone of their compatriots. They have individuality, specific behaviors, likes and dislikes.

8. Crows are independent. They march to the beat of no other drum but their own.

Basically, I am a crow. Perhaps I will actually be one in the next life. I wonder, though, can a vegetarian be a crow?

My favorite piece of cross stitch - Crow with Sunflower 

My favorite print - Crow with Pumpkins by Mary Beniato 

Winning is Not an Option

My body hates me. That is only fair, as I hate it in return. It thwarts my every attempt to restore it's piteous state to its formal normal appearance. It throws roadblocks into my way, sinks potholes in the highway of my progress and strews calthrops across the path of my aspirations. Today, it has graced me with an "oversleep" headache. Now, I use the quotation marks for oversleep with intent. I went to bed last night at 8:15pm. I "overslept" until 4:00am. Normally, my evil corpus rises between 2:00am and 3:00am. This was actually more sleep than I normally get (and much need), but my body exacted a high price for my sloth. Combined with the massive bloat (I do love that word - it truly sounds like the condition it represents) it has given me in response to the low-pressure system hovering over my area like the Angel of Death, made me use another sick day for work. As I am tasked each day to positively and productively instruct 5 classes of impressionable, sensitive young people, waddling around the classroom with a pounding skull is not an act of genius.

The Black Hole of Ebay

Draws you in - there is no way to escape. I collect Tiki. Mostly mugs, glasses and other tableware. I don't display them and use them only on occasion for the rare times I consume that ol' demon rum. Why, then, do I haunt Ebay and bid on items that will only add to my large collection? And, why do I find the loss of a desired item so frustrating. I was outbid at the last minute on a pair of salt and pepper shakers from the Kowloon restaurant in Saugus, MA. Now, the likelihood that they would ever have graced my dining table is virtually nil, but my desire for them was true and real. I fart in the general direction of the winning bidder....

Thoughts from an Empty Head

A foggy day outside mirrors a foggy brain inside. My clarity of thought is as strong as a 10-watt bulb, and about as useful. The Meds deities, despite appropriate worship, have foresaken me. I must make a sacrifice to appease them. I shall have to buy Coke instead of Pepsi.