Revenge is a Dish Best Served Red

A busy day for Scigirl. Well, not by normal standards, but by the diminished ruler with which I weigh my days, it was just jam-packed. On my calendar was a visit by my accountant, the grocery delivery service, my maid service and the continuing presence of the patio crew. Also, I had to take my 24-hour urine offering to the hospital lab and submit to further bloodletting.

Currently, the maids are busily cleaning my hovel and I silently bless them for their efforts. Today is miserable. There is no air in motion over any portion of this town. Further, the air is laden with the heavy drops of moisture that drive you to madness before they finally coalesce into torrential rains. Ick. The only comfortable zone is in my living room, directly in front of my high-velocity fan. I am counting the minutes until I can get back there. But, I'll take being ousted from my zone of pleasure as partial payment for having my housekeeping duties performed by others. Lazy, but I'm old, so sue me.

The groceries arrived on schedule and, as always, were the pick of their respective litters. Plump, pink watermelon pieces, jaunty mangoes, sinuous bananas...all cool and sweet and perfect for a hot summer day. The juicer was fired up for a heat quenching watermelon and cucumber cocktail. Both of those fruits are known for having cooling effects on the body and they are making this summer o' misery far more tolerable. All hail the Champion juicer and those grocery delivery boys!

My accountant dropped by with the thick folder of tax payments that I now have to re-make to satisfy the dunderheads in the state and federal IRS offices. Apparently, the boobs tried to debit the bank which holds the mortgage to my house and not my personal bank. How dimwitted its that? So, my tax payments couldn't be made since they bungled the job and I now have to send them all over again. Year-end taxes and estimated payments. Cretins. But, at least I got the opportunity to have a very nice visit with my accountant and we are planning a great book-shopping adventure and Harry Potter movie marathon. Always more fun to have an accomplice when you are hurling popcorn at the television screen.

But, the best event so far today was my small, but mentally rewarding, bit of revenge against the medical system. Early this morning found me hauling 6 liters of urine over to the hospital and presenting my much-abuseed arm for another blood draw. The phelobotimist was quite good and we chatted about things as she was readying the sample tubes. I told her about the poor little nurse who had such a hard time giving me and IV and we both laughed over the inexperience of youth. The stick went fine and tube after tube of blood was withdrawn from my poor, ravaged vein. As normal, she pulled the needle and popped a piece of gauze over the puncture point while she shuffled a few things around. When she removed the gauze, she found herself baptized in blood as my vein spewed forth a very impressive arc of heme all over her tunic. She had forgotten to remove the tourniquet. We both looked at each other for a few seconds and then began laughing at the whole situation. Once the tourniquet was removed, of course, the bleeding stopped and things were fine, but I could tell she was quite shaken. For my part, I was secretly pleased. Not that I had one thing against her, but she was a representative of the entity that has established itself as the largest of the various thorns that have burrowed into my side. Although unplanned and, obviously, not a conscious act, my body wreaked a tiny mote of vengeance. A little liquid slap in the face of the caducean serpents. Not much of a reckoning, but a nice little gift from the powers that be.

Tomorrow finds me visiting the surgeon who performed my laparoscopy and, hopefully, leaving with a bit of useful information. If not, he better not be wearing his best shirt...