I am in the middle of my third attempt to successfully complete a 24-hour urine test. The premise is simple - collect every drop of urine produced in a 24 hour period and bring it in for testing. To facilitate the process, you are given a urine collection device and a container for storage. The containers hold several liters and I was given two, "just in case." Well, twice now, I've blown through both of those before sitting down to dinner. That was pre-surgery. Since I've been on painkillers since the surgery, I've not tried again as I didn't want to impact the tests. But, I took no medication yesterday or today, so I felt this was a good day to give it another go.
Well, jug #1 is already filled to overflowing. In fact, my last trip to the loo was of such regal proportions that I overflowed the urine trap (and it holds a liter). Plus, I spilled some trying to pour it into the container. Too damn bad. I am NOT going to start over again.
Funny thing is that I don't even feel that unsettling urgent-pee sensation. Its more like - oh, might as well go take a tinkle. Then, WHOOSH. I can't really pinpoint when the Crown of Urea was laid upon my head, but it is not a headpiece I am comfortable wearing. I'm thirsty. I pee like a racehorse. Sometimes my blood says I'm very dehydrated. I get monstrous fluid retention....I would prefer some consistency in my kingdom.
And still my other end doesn't speak up often. This is quite distressing now, in that the distension due to slow processing of food is quite insulting to the recently-bothered parts of my innards. Food sits, more food comes in . Food gets packed in and wee-beasties begin to snack and fart. La Grande Regina bloats out further with trapped gas bubbles. One would think the fluids I ravenously drink to replenish those lost would create good diplomatic relations between the Urinary Union and the country of Colonia. But, no. Rather like France and Great Britain, they recognize each other's existence, but wouldn't lift the proverbial finger to give a modicum of aid or assistance.
So, I am possessed of high hopes that I can renounce my crown tomorrow and pass the long-awaited samples to the hospital laboratory. They also have to drain a few pints of blood for more tests. Fluid, fluid, fluid...I wonder what would happen if I swallowed a few diapers?...
3 comments:
Wow, the duties a Priestess must endure! Yikes. Your writing sounds like you feel better! I sure hope so...you have had quite the week!
Geesh- I hope you normalize soon!
I never heard if you got my 2 packages or not. I hope they arrived and that you are enjoying them?
Sci- I am wondering if all the excess urine is from something they did during your surgery? Perhaps you should let your Dr know right away if you have not already. If it is due to something they gave to you, it will subside and there might be a better time for the creatinine clearance test. If it is something that is happening that is unaccounted for than it could be another clue for the direction they should be looking (?blockage in kidneys)in regard to finding and correcting the problem. I hope they are looking in every direction possible to find answers for you. You have been waiting so long and enduring so much along the way. Hugs to you!!!
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