Much Education Have I

I have a B.S. in Zoology and Physiology, a M.S. in Zoology and a M.Ed. in Curriculum and Development. On top of that, I have many credit hours in both science and education fields. One would assume such a large-lobed individual would have shelf after shelf filled with tomes of profound literary value, stacks of the most critically-applauded cinematic masterpieces, multitudes of classical cd's. Well, when you assume...

I watch, read and listen to crap. And I love it. If a movie does not feature an alien abduction or a blood-drenched gun battle, I'm not likely to watch it. I must alter that - I also thoroughly enjoy frivolous comedy and animated films from Pixar. Science fiction, action adventure, comedic fluff and computer-generated characters populate my extensive DVD collection. Chick flicks need not apply. The words thought-provoking or heart-warming are synonomous with boring. I want to watch a movie that "entertains" me, not make me think. I do that all day at work. I don't want to cry - life gives you sufficient opportunities for that anyway. I want to go off and have an adventure.

Same for reading. I read mysteries, science fiction, fantasy and cookbooks. I have spent much of my life in an academic environment, whiling away the hours with dense volumes of both fiction and nonfiction. That's quite enough, thank you. When I find time to prop my feet on the couch, I want to go a world of imagination. I really don't want to read a story about this world. This world, and many of its occupants, are just not the stuff of enjoyable reading. And I read for enjoyment. Purely and simply. Variations from this course are only for acquiring knowledge needed at the moment. A project, a quest, a challenge. Then, back to popular drivel.

I don't listen to classical music except at Christmas. The closest I get is Broadway showtunes and I do dearly love them. I have the voice of a pig with lifelong smoking habit, but that doesn't stop me from belting out selections from Phantom, A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum or Les Mis. But true, long-hair classical - sorry, no. Actually, my musical tastes are as diverse as the food court at the mall. Old rock and roll, very old country, zydeco, 80's schlock, new age, world music, exotica and lounge music...the only thing I can't really go is dance music or bubble-gum pop. Pink Floyd, U2, Warren Zevon, Patsy Cline, Peter Gabriel, Barenaked Ladies, Cesaria Evora, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Annie Lennox, Blues Traveler, Yma Sumac, Jethro Tull...my ears are not tuned to one station on the musical dial. My cd carousel never has more than one cd of a single genre loaded at any time. That is not by intent, that is the theme of my musical holdings. I am somewhat musically ADD.

Television? Same story. I pay a king's ransom for digital high-definition cable television. I get every channel known to man. I watch about 10. 99% of my TV time is spent viewing either the Food Channel or the SciFi Channel. I pry myself away from these to catch Queer Eye for the Straight Guy on Bravo and movies on the movie stations. My 46" widescreen HDTV is perfect to watch the Discover Channel high-def broadcasts and I think I've caught one. The airwaves provide much access to quite high-brow programming on the channels I receive. Many important news programs, science/technology broadcasts, literary recreations, etc. Ummm...no. I catch comedies on BBC (at least the ones I haven't already seen 1347 times), but that is as close to high-brow as I lean.

Much education have I. Much taste have I not.